hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its liver damage thursday
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
