Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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