I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
