I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
