Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
