It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
