he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
