Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
