When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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