I love black thongs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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