Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
