I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
