Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
