he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
