i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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