i just google imaged poop.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
