doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
