I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
