Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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