Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize