it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
