Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
