I'm really into asian looking animals
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
