she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Damn victory sex feels great
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