No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
