it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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