If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
