What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
