If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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