you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
