dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
