It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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