Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
