thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wrigley field is MILF paradise
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
