How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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