i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
