You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
