I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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