is your mom at the bar?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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