Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
