I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
