It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
These tits shall not be calmed
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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