question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
