i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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