That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can't special order awesome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
