The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
