Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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