So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
