I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
