Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
