You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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