The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
