I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
