I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
