You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
