He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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