i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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