Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
