Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
