America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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