how can u be prego again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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