I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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