Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
