You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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